The Home Depot Waltz

When I saw you this morning with tears in your eyes,
I knew what had to be done.
The coldness crept into our lives through the cracks
so I bought a new caulking gun.

Since the day that you left I can honestly say,
my life is increasingly sadder.
There's only one thing that can lift me up...
a fiberglass extension ladder.

They're singing the Home Depot Waltz,
Past the hand tools, the nuts, and the bolts.
They dance down the aisle, look upward and smile,
And price: Some new ceiling tile

All the pictures and things that remind me of you,
I tossed in my new garbage can.
The way that life spins round and round makes me think...
of getting that new ceiling fan.

The house is so dark and so cold since you left;
I'm overcome with desperation.
What I need to brighten and warm up my life
is a mag-light and new insulation.

They're singing the Home Depot Waltz,
Get some Spackle to patch up the walls.
A gallon of lacquer, perhaps a weedwacker,
and a rake... To use in the fall.

I'm not the same fella that I used to be,
I've become older and wiser.
now the grass ain't so green on this side of the fence...
it's time to go buy fertilizer.

My credit card's maxed I don't know what to do,
I've gone broke after only one week.
but just one more stop is what I have to make...
Cause my lawnmower's starting to squeak.

They're singing the Home Depot Waltz,
Get a handsaw and 3 two by fours.
A gas powered edger, a twelve-foot tape measure,
And paint... To use for the door.